


you light the rooms to the house of my soul

by sierraadeux



Series: companions through life [6]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 flashbacks, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Tattoos, so much love it's actually gross
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:27:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23203195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sierraadeux/pseuds/sierraadeux
Summary: Love makes people act impulsive and stupid. Dan would argue that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: companions through life [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1617661
Comments: 20
Kudos: 86





	you light the rooms to the house of my soul

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dickiegreenleaf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dickiegreenleaf/gifts).



> I implore you to listen to the song that this title is from, it's called House of My Soul by Langhorne Slim and the second I heard it I had to listen to it fifteen times in a row because it gave me the most dnp vibes. Here I'll make it extra easy just clickey clickey [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_hgKjdVfks) and listen. 
> 
> for kelly, who without this wouldn't even have been a thought that crossed my mind - so go thank her for that if this makes you even a fraction as soft as the idea makes me.

“finalfeud asks ‘Would you ever get a tattoo?’ hmm,” Phil’s voice hums in Dan’s ears. A smile tugs at the corners of Dan’s mouth as he settles back further into the couch, his laptop sliding closer to his face. “I’m not sure. Probably not, that’s a big commitment isn’t it? Yeah...” 

Dan snorts as he watches the almost undetectable look that flashes across Phil’s face. The same look that he gets when Phil bends the truth, the look Dan gets as Phil insists he “ _didn’t move the charger plug, Dan, I don’t know where it is!”_ Dan knows it too well. He knows Phil too well, enough that he catches it right as Phil reads out the premium message Dan sees on his screen as well. Even through the pixelated - _kind of shitty_ \- stream he’s watching him on, he doesn’t miss it. 

Phil’s just in the other room - long are the days where pixelated connections rule them - but Dan still likes to watch his shows. It’s not that needy, _we can’t spend a moment apart,_ yearning that has Dan plugging his headphones into his laptop, burrowing himself into the couch every Sunday evening as Phil sits in front of a live feed to thousands a few meters away. It’s- _well,_ maybe it’s a bit of that. 

Maybe Dan just loves Phil. And if he has nothing better to do for the forty-five minutes (Or thirty if he’s feeling antsy. Dan does have the power of delivery, a well-timed message of “dinner’s here” is guaranteed to get Phil off stream in three minutes or less) why not zone out and listen to Phil? 

“You really have to find something cool or you’d have to love it a lot to get it on you forever. I don’t know if I love anything that much!” Phil giggles. Direct to camera, he makes that silly, worried, deer in the headlights face that's reserved for things like thumbnails and live shows. Dan snorts to himself.

_God, Phil is hilarious._

“If I ever did get a tattoo, it would have to be something really meaningful. I don’t think I’m the kind of person to just get whatever. I’m not that cool!” 

Dan feels smug all over and he lets his eyes shut as Phil changes the subject, reading off a new message. 

Thinking back to the times where pixelated connections kept them sane between always _too much time_ _apart_ and _never enough time with_ feels awfully silly after over a decade together - nearly as long under the same roof - but Dan won’t deny being a sentimental sap. 

And, well, so is Phil. 

The letters felt silly as well, at first. There was always the little huff of air out of one of their noses and the roll of a pair of eyes at the fact that they could call, text, or Skype the other at any and all hours of the day. So it was a bit silly to sit down and put pen to paper, writing a message - be it heartfelt, or funny, or even sad - to give to Phil. 

_Dears_ and hearts and tears, even a few doodles and colorful stickers stuck to envelopes carried them through the formative months of their relationship. 

Sometimes they would mail them, the good old snail mail way, and Dan would always be jealous of the cute stamps Phil managed to get his hands on. And other times they simply brought their letters to each other, handing them off in person to be read later. Dan even unwinding himself from Phil’s grasp during a night spent in his gaudy green room in his parents’ _definitely haunted_ old house. That night, sleep was futile and Dan’s hands itched for pen on paper - using the dim light of his phone screen to poke around Phil’s desk. He wrote the words he couldn’t quite say aloud, even throwing in some of their typical silly doodles, once he got his hands on pen and paper. He folded it up, a perfectly satisfying crease and Phil’s name with a small heart replacing the dot on the i, and set it for Phil to find later. 

Sleep was easier when he crawled back under Phil’s duvet, two sleepy arms instantly pulling him close again. Love all around, a loud mind more at ease. 

It’s odd, looking back, so many points in Dan’s life with Phil by his side where Dan was _so, so_ unsure. Of his future - _hell,_ of his _present,_ their future, _the_ future. It’s almost laughable now, where his love for Phil, and Phil’s of him, is one of the things he’s most sure about. 

That smug feeling returns, Dan snorting to himself as he runs a featherlight finger over the black lines on Phil’s skin. It’s much later now. Dinner’s been had. A heated game of rock paper scissors has been lost, with Dan making the journey to bring the rubbish to the bin room. Westworld has been watched. And pajamas have been donned only to be pulled right back off. 

Dan’s cheek is resting on Phil’s stomach, pressing light kisses to the soft skin just above his hip bone as he traces Phil’s tattoo. 

“I don’t know if I love anything that much,” Dan parrots Phil’s earlier words, the humor in his tone highlighted by his admittedly exaggerated faux northern accent. 

Phil giggles, a soft _“Hey!”_ coming from up by their pillows as Phil’s hand in Dan’s curls pauses its gentle massage for a light swat. 

Dan laughs as well, breathier and more to himself to contrast Phil’s loud and open giggles. 

It’s on his hip. Dan just has to push the band of Phil’s pants down the slightest bit to reveal it completely, but most of it shows without the aid. Dan loves that. He loves lazy days at home in their pants, or trackies that hang low on Phil’s hips. Warm days where there’s no rush to tug on a tee shirt. Soft moments reaching for Dan on the couch, or arms thrown up in success as Dan worries about the trajectory of their switch controllers, where the hem of Phil’s shirt will ride up and the familiar design peeks through. 

Dan traces the design again, he’s lost track of how many times he’s done it, and he feels Phil shiver under his touch. The lines aren’t as dark or stark as they once were, the tattoo settling into Phil’s skin over the past ten years, just as they’ve settled into each other. 

He playfully bites at Phil’s stomach as he remembers his shock of the first time he saw it, when the ink barely looked real, raised from Phil’s pink skin. 

“You’re fucking mental!” he had shouted. Then quieter, softer as he dropped to his knees on Phil’s ugly green carpet so his eyes were level with the design on Phil’s skin, “It’s _real_?” 

Dan could feel, not see, the way Phil nodded his head enthusiastically, a hand carding through Dan’s long, messy hair. 

It was hard to take his eyes off Phil’s hips, but he managed it, looking up at Phil - to wide loving eyes and equally as messy and long hair - with his bottom lip trapped between his teeth. Dan’s eyes were wet, Phil looking more like a pale white blob with a fuzzy black animal on his head, as he filtered through anger, love, fear, adoration. 

Dan lamented for _weeks_ about how Phil had cursed their relationship, citing the well-known phenomenon of couples getting their names tattooed on each other and almost immediately breaking up. 

Of course, that was never the case for Dan and Phil. And Phil still happily uses it as ammunition every time Dan tries to claim he’s not the superstitious one of the two. 

He knows now, that those curses aren’t real - just merely coincidence. Dan likes to think he does a good job at convincing Phil he’s only humoring him, when he rolls his eyes and nods as Phil insists _obviously the curse doesn’t work on soulmates_ , but deep down he knows he doesn’t. He believes it just as much as Phil, maybe more. 

It was impulsive and stupid and all the other words anyone uses for young people making permanent decisions while infatuated by love. It’s really not even done very well, though that’s more due to Dan’s own shaky lines than the fault of a bad tattoo artist. The head is a little lopsided at the top, and the ears are different sizes. But it’s probably one of the sweetest things Phil has ever done. 

There were theories, every now and then they pop back up, about why Phil stopped showing so much skin on camera. One day going from countless pictures in his pants, always finding an excuse to pull up the hem of his shirt or pull down the band of his pants in his videos, to the more conservative Phil everyone sees today. 

Secret spots for hickeys. Wanting to be advertiser friendly. Dan being jealous of the attention Phil would get from it. But no one ever got close to reality. The secret tattoo he’s always wanted to keep private. Just for the two of them. 

More attention is paid on holidays and Phil always buys a swimming costume that hugs high and tight enough to never have to worry. Though Dan does feel that bit of satisfaction every time little triangles peek over the top of them. He’s always tugging them back up for Phil, just as he pokes a finger into Phil’s red shoulders and makes him stand still so he can slather another layer of sun cream on him. 

They tease each other about it all the time. 

There’s never a time after a meet and greet where one of them doesn’t make a passing comment about all the tattoos they were asked to write or draw out that day. 

“ _You have the original. Everyone always copying AmazingPhil’s ideas. What an innovator.”_

Little jabs and shared giggles, but even all these years later it can still reduce Dan to tears. He blinks past the mist as Phil resumes twirling Dan’s curls around his finger. 

It’s just a little doodle. A silly line art of a cat face that Dan drew in sharpie at four in the morning by the light of his dim phone screen when he couldn’t sleep. He’s got little dots for eyes, probably too long whiskers, and a bit of a lopsided mouth. One of the ears is smaller than the other and the original still sits in the margins of a hand-written note that’s framed on one of their bookshelves. 

Dan boops the nose of the cat on Phil’s hip and Phil huffs out a laugh. He thinks the reproduction on Phil’s skin is far better than the original. But maybe that’s just because it’s a part of Phil. 

He gives Phil’s stomach one last kiss before pushing himself up on his elbow, finally pushing Phil’s pants down all of the way while Phil teases him about being a sentimental sap in a soft, breathy voice. 

Dan’s little cat face is a part of Phil, just as Phil is a part of him. They’ll always be a part of each other, so entwined even they sometimes have a laugh about where one ends and the other begins. Dan wouldn’t have it any other way. 

_“You know, people ask me. They say ‘Dan, three years later, do you really want to be drawing cat whiskers on your face?’ But they don’t understand…”_


End file.
